


Was is it worth it?

by Shadow7



Category: Blake Shelton (Musician), Gwen Stefani - Fandom, Shefani
Genre: Anger, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 06:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7923703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow7/pseuds/Shadow7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, as many of you, I'm pissed with the snub...so freaking pissed! So... to relieve stress I wrote this. Anyway, I wrote this quickly and I hope you guy enjoy it. Forgive the mistakes...<br/>It's a sort of an insight into Blake's mind, right now.<br/>I don't know when I might be able to write again for those who don't know. I'm Venezuelan, living in Venezuela and tomorrow is an important day... so wish us luck!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Was is it worth it?

- _How do you guys handle the pressure_?- The presenter asked the panel. It was me, Tim McGraw, Brett Eldredge, Luke Bryan, the guys from Florida Georgie Line, Reba, Carrie, and Shania. – _I mean, all of you have reached a point in a really big point in your career, have any of you have thought, “I’m done” or not?-_ While everyone said no, and their reasoning, I couldn’t help but laugh.

_-What is it, Blake?-_

_-I have, I did got once in that “Fuck it, I’m done with this shit”, it lasted for about … eight hours, it was depressing, sad and terrifying and so…damn awful but I had helped to make me feel better, I understood many things that day-_

_-When was this? Why? What helped you?-_

_-Well… I don’t want to screw anyone over, I mean…-_

_-What is it?-_

- _Well, it was the day of the nominations for the CMA last year, I was up for “If I’m Honest” and I was so …hopeful…-_ My mind flew back over a year ago to that day.

 

It didn’t matter that Mark had already told me my nomination was a probable no, the divorce, Miranda, Gwen and the old tweet were all around during the voting, but I was feeling good, the album went gold and I was sure, as it happened, that it was going platinum and that my strike of #1 was gonna keep growing, as it did too. But when it was around nine-fifteen in the morning, my mind was still in blank as I watched over and over the names of the nominees and my name being missing in all the categories, all of them, not one was I nominated too. My phone was buzzing with texts, tweets, and calls and I were just, blank. I felt so much pain in my gut that I couldn’t breathe for a few minutes; my heart racing and my eye were aching. God, I thought this was it, I heard the song “ _Hotline Bling_ ” for the fifth time, but this time, I answered.

_-Hello-_

_-Baby, are you ok? I’ve been calling for a while-_

_-Yeah…I’m… ok-_

_-I love you, ok? This shit doesn’t matter-_

_-What shit?-_

_-Blake…-_

_-I thought I had it, you know? Miranda keeps screwing me over-_

_-Baby, when are you coming back home? I want to snuggle you, wrap you in a blanket, spoil you, kiss you and even give you a blowjob_ -

I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. _.- I’m leaving in a few minutes to the airport-_

_-Good! I’ll be waiting for you-_

_-Ok, baby, I’ll tell you when we take flight-_

_-Ok! Blake… I love you-_

_-I love you too honey-_

Like a zombie I checked my twitter and there were thousands of tweets of people outraged because I wasn’t nominated, nor was Brett or Brad, it was crazy, Jason Aldean and even the bitchy Sam Hunt, wasn’t. What the fuck is going on this year? I looked my messages and there were a lot, from a lot of people, from Chelsea Handler to Luke Bryan, to Brett, to Thomas Rett, to my mom and Endy and even Mike, their message stopped after I talked to Gwen so probably she talked to my mom, who talked to Endy or something like that.

I didn’t want to get up and take a plane like a walking failure, I mean, not even one nomination for the album that I worked so hard for, is just bullshit, I mean, I got Gold and a #1 single, and the second one was coming too, so why the fuck?! Shit now, I was pissed, really pissed, how there they do this? Treat me like my work doesn’t matter… Motherfuckers, I’m gonna show them how wrong they are… fuck.

I took my bags and left for the airport. It wasn’t until the plane hit the air when the disappointment and sadness took over me. And questions about life started to cover my mind. Was it worth it? The divorce and the need for peace in my life? I mean, was it worth dumping Miranda and for once, choosing myself or was it a mistake?

No awards, no press, no … nothing, that was it. My career was done, all because I need peace of mind, stupid. I mean, I could crawl back to her, I knew it. She would let me come back with her, we could go together to the awards, but…was it worth it? I wonder right now if I hadn’t dumped her, would I be here or would I be celebrating her nomination? Would I have been nominated or would I, even, have an album or would she? I knew it from the beginning that divorcing Miranda wasn’t gonna be easy, she is pure Nashville, she is a good singer and she is mean, shit. I didn’t have a chance.

Could I go back in time? Should I? Would I? The reason of the snub was obvious, I divorced my Nashville country singer wife and started dating an Orange County singer coworker, spent most of my time in LA, was very well know and famous in the country and apparently that isn’t good and it showed, apparently, but hell, they would call me to perform, I knew it, they would, they need the ratings.

My mind was a mess, I just wanted to die or cry, it hurt. A lot. And it got worse, I was thinking about going back to a woman that I haven’t been in love with for at least two years and leaving a woman who I was completely in love with, head over heels. Was it worth it?

We landed at the airport and I spotted Gwen with her platinum locks waiting for me, her red lipstick, black shades, a top that said Oklahoma, jeans and heels and she looked gorgeous as usual. I left the plane, slowly and walked up to her, she started to walk towards me, and when we were about seven feet away she started to run and threw herself at me and I held her close, her smell, her arms, her warm, everything made sense again, all the blurriness and pain disappeared, all the stupid things I was thinking went away. It was worth it, I left Miranda to be truly happy, I’ve had the awards, I’ve been in the parties, I’ve done all of that and I always felt empty inside, this right here, this happiness is the reason I left the Nashville country singer.

- _I love you_ \- I said with a sigh

- _I love you too, so much-_

 _-They snubbed me again_ …- I heard my voice crack

- _Yeah, they don’t know what they’re missing, baby_ \- I just held her even closer and was pretty sure, she wasn’t breathing correctly – _Welcome to my world… I know it’s gonna sound stupid and maybe worn-out but, awards mean nothing-_

_-My mind knows that… but I still feel like shit and like a truck ran over me. And I feel like drinking, a lot. She’s messing my life, still, today, after so long-_

_-She will as long as you let her do it…-_ I didn’t understand what she said but I just kissed her, with desperation, I crushed her to me and my hands traveled all over her body, my tongue was out to play and I was starving, I felt her smile and I grabbed her ass, pulling her closer to me.

- _Let’s go home_ …- She whispered. Home, yeah… I was going home, to her.

We got in the car and she turned the radio on, everyone was talking about my snub, the fact that the album went gold so quick and the platinum was expected early too but still got snubbed, she was gonna change it but I held her hand and listen to the commenters share their opinions.

_“He got snubbed because he’s dating Gwen Stefani”_

_“Of Course, besides we all know how much does Nashville hate when artist dates someone outside the south. Ask, Brad Paisley”_

_“Yeah, Blake Shelton is the face of the country and they cannot change that, no matter how much they try. We’ll be hearing from him for a long, long time, I know that. Besides, if Blake went crazy and did a country concert in Nashville that day and streams it, more people would rather watch him”_

_“I know I would. His concerts are amazing, the fact that thousands and thousands of people know his songs, all of them. But I would prefer him marrying Gwen that day, like a: You can suck it, kind of thing”_ I smiled at that, we had the marriage planned, December in Oklahoma.

_“He won’t, he’s too nice. Everyone that meets him, falls for him, so it’s not a possibility of him being mean to anyone or anything”_

Those words hit me hard. People like me, people were defending me, on radio, on tv, on twitter, people like my music. People bought my album.  We got home quickly and I took my bags, Gwen’s hand and walked inside the house. When she opened the door and we got in, I felt attacked as two little bodies crashed against mine and two blonde heads were on my stomach. I couldn’t help but smile.

Zuma looked up and I saw tears in his eyes, Kingston was serious, though.

_-What happened? Are you two ok?-_

_-You got snubbed, that’s not fair_ …- Zuma said and the tears went down his face. He was crying for me, for my pain.

- _They don’t know what they’re talking about, you’re the best_ \- Kingston said with his face serious and blank.

I couldn’t help but smile, that was the moment when it hit me, Gwen’s words. I wasn’t in this business for the awards or the money; I was here because there were people that liked my music, that wanted to meet me so bad they would actually cry, I sang and all because I loved it. I wanted to share my happiness and pain. I did “If I’m honest” because it felt right, because it felt good and it did because I had two little arms wrapped around me telling me how good it was, they are the reason that I’ll keep doing this and will keep doing this.

- _As long as you think I’m the best_ … _I’m ok_ \- I told them as I heard Apollo chanting my name and running to me. As I sat on the floor with those three boys, I thought. It was worth it.

 

- _So, what was it_?-

- _I was disappointed, angry and sad… I even asked myself if I regretted anything I did, my divorce, Gwen… We all know that one of the reasons for my lack of nominations for the CMA was that. But after a flight to LA, I drive home, I had a gorgeous girlfriend and three little boys wrapped around me, telling me how proud they were of me, how good they thought I was and all… It doesn’t matter that they didn’t know much about country … but it made me remember that I’m not in this business for the awards and red carpets, I’m here for the fans and for me.-_ I smiled.  – _I finally understood all the crap that Tim and Luke talk and sing about kids and family and shit_ \- Everyone laughed.

- _So, Blake…-_ Brett started. – _Can you show them my album? I need a little cheering myself-_

_-Hell no! Find your own wife with three kids… They’re mine and I’m the best-_

_-So greedy… Does Gwen have a single friend with kids?-_

_-She does actually… I’ll tell her-_

_-Cool… Maybe next time I won’t try to burn someone’s home_ -


End file.
